Teen Style

Have I failed myself? My Heart?
My hopes? My dreams? My Mom?
My Family? I don’t know but, it feels
Like it.

Am I good for anything? Maybe yes,
Maybe no. But I don’t think so. I’ve
Almost always thought of myself as a
Failure, simply because of the way
People treat me.

I’ve always wondered if anyone cared
About me. And I still ask these questions
And come up with the same answers.
Does my Uncle care about me? He says
He does but, he doesn’t act like it but,
I’m really not sure.

Does my aunt care about me? She acts
Like she does but I think she cares a
Bit more about my cousins Charlie and
Annie than me.

Does my mom care about me? Yes, she
Does but, I feel like she cares a bit more
About my brother, Dustyn, than me. But,
That’s probably because he’s younger than
Me.

Does my step-dad care about me? Yeah,
A lot more than my biological father does
Or as my mom calls him “the sperm donor”.
Does my brother care about me? No clue.
He may or he may not. I may never know.
But we do fight a lot.

Do my friends care about me? I have no
Doubts about them. At least, depending
On certain situations, anyway.

My heart’s confused! My emotions are
All mixed up! My dreams are scattered
And out of place! I’m confused…lost
In my mixed up thoughts and emotions.

What will I do to save myself? What
Can I do? I have no idea but, maybe
One day I will figure it out, if I’m lucky.
But, the way my luck goes, the path, that
Will allow me to figure out my life will
Be long and I will face many hardships
Along the way the way to acquiring my
Destiny.

It will be worth the wait, hopefully.
Maybe then I will be able to put the
Puzzle, of a million different pieces
that is my life, back together.
But if, “All the kings men couldn’t
Put Humpty Dumpty back together”.
How will I bring peace, tranquility
Back to the scattered puzzle of my life?
Maybe one day, in my future, I will find
Out. But my question to myself right now
Is: What path will I follow?

Maybe that will unfold as well, when my
Path to adulthood finally becomes clear
Enough for me to see through the fog to the
Light, which is that of purity and hope.
Maybe then the confusions of my heart
Will finally become clear.